hawaii

About a decade ago Ayelet Waldman wrote “Motherlove” – a controversial essay that ignited a firestorm and outraged those in the parenting community. The piece (reprinted in the New York Times column “Modern Love”) explored the nature of intimate spousal relationships and set forth a simple premise, one that was hard for some to digest. Waldman wrote that her children were not the center of her world, that “they were satellites, beloved but tangential.” That was the controversial part. Though Waldman proclaimed her love for her four children, she said “if you focus all of your emotional passion on your children and you neglect the relationship that brought that family into existence... eventually, things can go really, really wrong.”

Now don’t worry, things aren’t dire on this end, but I have been thinking a lot about how to balance life’s demands, which include work, marriage and motherhood. I don’t agree with all of Waldman’s points (Otis and Theo, you’re not satellites to me!), but there are parts of her essay that resonated with me. I agree with the idea that marriages need nurturing, and in our fast-paced world, quality time can be elusive.

Raising children has lots of rewards, but it can also be exhausting. I love my boys dearly, but by the end of the day I’m spent and it seems like the only thing I have energy for is scrolling through Pinterest (or some other activity that doesn’t require a lot of brain power). Once I pick those little energized bunnies up from school there’s cooking to do, books to read, baths to take, lots of cleaning (I’m very particular), laundry to be folded, and I’ve got to identify and remove the foul and mysterious odors emanating from the car. By the time everything is done it’s about 10 p.m. and I’ve got very little gas left in the tank, no pun intended.

Look, this is part of the life I wanted and it’s what I signed up for. However, I have come to recognize the need to reorganize things a bit and shift priorities a little. I definitely need more quality time with my husband. It’s sometimes hard to carve out the hours needed to reconnect and remind us why we decided to couple in the first place. But where’s there’s a will, there’s a way!

With that in mind….

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moab: arches and canyonlands

Three weeks before Theo celebrated his 4^th year on Earth, I asked him what he wanted to do to mark the special occasion. His emphatic response was: adopt 32 Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaurs (apparently they would live happily in our backyard and he assured me he would be in charge of water and food distribution) or see "81 hundred million billion stars” (he’s really into the cosmos). I explained that there’s this pesky little thing called extinction and he was about 65 million years too late for his first wish, but I did know just the place where he could see all those stars. I told Theo about a little desert town in Utah called Moab and he was elated.

On a warm summer evening, we piled into the car, crossed our fingers and hoped for a smooth ride, free of tantrums and backseat fighting. This was the first family road trip we had taken the boys on that exceeded the 4-hour mark, but they did really, really well.  After movie and a quick roadside dinner, Theo and Otis both fell asleep…

The next morning, armed with our annual National Parks pass (one of the best things that money can buy), we headed out in search of area’s two main local attractions- Canyonlands and Arches.

Believe me when I tell you that two places are extraordinary. The giant canyon, which has been shaped over millions of years, is how I imagine the surface of Mars might look. Arches is equally spectacular. The formation of arches rarely occur in nature, but the national park, which features the largest collection of arches found anywhere in the world, boasts over 2,000 natural stone arches…along with enormous fin rocks, pinnacles and boulders. If you love geology, this is the place for you.

Now it’s really hot this time of year so we planned our hikes accordingly. We did one in the morning after breakfast and one after dinner, just as the sun was setting and the stars were becoming omnipresent in the summer sky...

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great sand dunes national park

“It had nothing to do with gear or footwear or the backpacking fads or philosophies of any particular era or even with getting from point A to point B. 


It had to do with how it felt to be in the wild. With what it was like to walk for miles with no reason other than to witness the accumulation of trees and meadows, mountains and deserts, streams and rocks, rivers and grasses, sunrises and sunsets. The experience was powerful and fundamental. It seemed to me that it had always felt like this to be a human in the wild, and as long as the wild existed it would always feel this way.” 


- Cheryl Strayed 

Over the past few months I've found myself craving spontaneity and adventure. My life has (increasingly) becoming too predictable: school drop-off, work, gym, play dates, naps, meal-prep and so on. We have a calendar and we have routine. Not that there's anything wrong with a little order in life (especially when one has young children), but what was happening to my adventurer-self? The girl who would board a plane to Asia or Central America because a good fare popped up? Or the girl who would hop a boat - one filled with with cattle and ranchers- just to catch a glimpse of southern Chile? Or the 20-something-me who would take the trolley to the French Quarter and do cartwheels down the street just because it was a Tuesday night? I think she was starting to vanish…

Now I know that at this stage of my life I have different responsibilities and obligations than I had a decade ago. There's a mortgage, my career, two kids, and college tuition to think of. But still, there's got to be a little room for adventure, some spontaneity, maybe even some silliness in one's life too, no? 

If you’re wondering how this ties in to Great Sand Dunes National Park, I’ll tell you. 

We had no plans to drive down. But when one of our intended guests cancelled their trip to Denver due to the flu, we seized the moment and decided to go for it. We had been talking about visiting the dunes for more than 2 years, but we always put it off. We were always making excuses (It's too far/I have too much work/I'm too tired/Maybe next year...) But not this time! We hastily secured a hotel room (there’s only one place to stay), packed a cooler (there aren’t many eating options at this point in the pre-season) and we drove south for about 3 ¾ hours. It felt good to do something  that wasn't planned months in advance. In fact, it felt great! 
So I encourage you to do something spontaneous! You won't regret it.  In the words (I'm paraphrasing here) of Dr. Scott, the paleontologist on PBS's Dinosaur Train, "Get out there! Get into nature. Have an adventure and make your own discoveries." 

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hiking paint mines interpretive park + aran's roasted parsnip & apple soup with mustard croutons

There’s just something about hiking and being outdoors that invigorates the soul. Getting out there is just plain good for you. I'm always looking for new places to explore, so when Jen (of Hazel & Dewey) sent me an email about one of her favorite childhood places to hike, the Paint Mines Interpretive Park not too far from Colorado Springs, I put it on my short list of places to go. 

Recently I’ve been struggling with time management issues. I spent over 3 years out of the workforce raising my sons, but now I'm back in it and full force. Like most women who transition from stay-at-home-mother to hello-working-lady (!), I know that it will take a little bit time to get the balance just right. That said, being outdoors helps me feel centered and it helps me clear my head. It also gives me a bit of perspective.
I had a ton of work to do over the weekend, but I decided to carve out one full day- Saturday- to spend with my husband and kids.  I needed a day to explore some place new - free from work, without my computer, sans laundry piles and dirty dishes. All I wanted to do was spend time in the bright warm sun and hike a bit…everything else could wait for Sunday.

So we walked around. The weather was perfect and the sky was the deepest shade of blue. I'm not sure I've ever seen a bluer sky. The grasses were the color of wheat and straw and the rock formations at the park were beautiful, striped with red. Added to all this good-nature-stuff, was the fact that my boys were perfectly behaved and we spent an afternoon free of temper-tantrums. I'm talking about excellent behavior! (Can I get a witness?!)

While we hiked around for about 2 hours, you can easily go on for longer. There are miles  of hiking trails in the area, but we stayed in the immediate vicinity of the rock formations, which I just learned are called hoodoos. If you're thinking about doing this hike in the summer, just note that there is no shade. We picked a perfect 65-degrees day, and the sun was still really strong because the hike is at about 6400 ft. in elevation.  Now get out there are hike...you can do all your other chores and errands tomorrow!  

PS: Do you have a favorite hiking spot? Tell me about it in the comments section. 

Getting There: About 1 hour and 45 minutes drive from Denver, 35-40 miles west of Colorado Springs.

Difficulty: Relatively easy and not very strenuous- perfect for our kids who hike regularly.

What to Bring: A hat, sunscreen, water and wipes (our kids played in lots of mud and sand).

Facilities: Long toilets, but they were relatively clean.

...and then there was soup.

The past few weeks have been beautiful here in Colorado- with the exception of about 2 days which happened to coincide with a visit from my in-laws (drat!). But even when we get picture-perfect fall weather the bright sunny days turn into chilly nights once the sun goes down. This makes the month of October perfect for daytime hikes and soup-slupring nights. And right now I'm all about this soup!

I found the recipe in Aran Goyoaga's Small Plates, Sweet Treats. It's simple, clean, seasonal and delicious. I topped it off with some brown seed-bread croutons, a drizzle of olive oil and some Gruyere. 

Enjoy and happy trails.

xo, Batya
{Other Small Plates and Sweet Treats recipes on this blog: Grilled Corn + Herbed Chowder}

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Roasted Parsnip & Apple Soup with Mustard Croutons

Adapted ever-so-slightly from Small Plates and Sweet Treats: My Family’s Journey to Gluten-free Cooking by Aran Goyoaga, author of the blog Canelle et Vanille.

Serves 6 to 8

Ingredients:

• 1 pound (450g) parsnips, peeled and diced into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons (90 ml) olive oil, plus more for garnish
 
• 3/4 teaspoon salt 

• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 
• 
1 medium yellow onion, diced 

• 2 cloves garlic, minced 

• 1 celery stalk, diced 

• 2 medium Pink Lady or Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored and diced 

• 2 medium russet potatoes, peeled and diced 

• 4 cups of vegetable stock + 1 cup of water (original recipe calls for 5 cups chicken stock) 

• 1 teaspoon ground coriander 

• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard 

• 1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves 

• 3 slices bread (recipe calls for Gluten-free, I used brown seed bread), cut into 1/2-inch cubes 
• 
Grated Gruyère cheese, for garnish

Preparation: 


1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Toss the diced parsnips, 1 tablespoon of the olive oil, 1/4 teaspoon of the slat, and 1/4 teaspoon of the black pepper on a baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes, turning the parsnips halfway through the cooking process. 


2. Heat 2 tablespoons of the olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add the onion, garlic, and celery. Cook the vegetables for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, or until tender but not browned. 


3. Add the roasted parsnips, apples, potatoes, stock + 1 cup water, coriander, remaining 1/2 teaspoon of salt, and remaining 1/4 teaspoon black pepper. Bring the liquid to a boil, reduce the heat to medium-low, cover the pot, and simmer for 15 minutes or until the vegetables are tender. 


4. Meanwhile, reduce the oven temperature to 350 degrees F (180 degrees C). In a small bowl, whisk together the Dijon mustard, remaining 3 tablespoons olive oil, and thyme leaves. Add the diced bread cubes and toss them in the dressing. Lay the croutons on a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes, until golden and crispy. 


5. Puree the soup in a blender. Then add salt and pepper to taste. Serve the soup with the croutons, olive oil and Gruyère. The soup will keep in the refrigerator for up to 3 days, or it can be frozen for up to 1 month.